Unfortunately

Last October I created this blog speaking out about our first miscarriage.

Unfortunately since then we have lost three more angels. I stopped talking about it because of the reactions and comments from others but why?!?!? Why should we have to grieve alone just because it makes you uncomfortable.

Exactly one year ago yesterday/today (it was a very late night) I had my Fallopian tube rupture do to an ectopic pregnancy. These occur in 1 in 60 pregnancies. It was discovered a week before thanksgiving and treated with a very strong chemical. They use this same chemical to treat cancer. Unfortunately it didn't work and two days after thanksgiving my tube ruptured and I lost nearly all my blood it was a very sad and scary week. And still a year later I don't fully understand however I am dealing with it.

Sadly enough we were to lose two more one in February and one just a few short weeks ago. Also this May my dad passed. For some reason his passing is okay to talk about but not the passing of our four Angels. 

One out of every four women will experience the loss of a baby, That is 25%. Pregnancy and infant loss is hardly every talked about because is has become a "hush-hush" topic. Those who have experienced it often go through it alone. Don't be afraid to talk about it. I am 1 in 4. 

Unfortunately I have forgotten the reason for speaking out in the first place. To give courage to others so they do not have to go through it alone. I am not looking for sympathy, I am simply just trying to raise awareness and give others the courage to speak out. Child-loss is not something you did wrong and it's something you shouldn't have to go through alone. 

If telling the whole world is scary at least you have me to talk to.